A week ago when Kiki walked out of sober leaving because the meds she was prescribed were giving her side effects she couldnt handle, when she urgently decided to unconsciously sleep walk herself back into the life style that destroyed her these last young years of her life. I once again experienced terror, I went [...]
One of the main reason I never wanted to use drugs and get lost in alcoholism to support the amount of suffering my childhood trauma has left me with when I walked away from an abusive home at age 15 is the hurt that I witnessed that my closed ones went through when a member [...]
I experienced childhood as a torture in isolation, being a object to parents who would use me to take revenge on all that they hated most in their lives. Witnessing the most important ppl in my life destroying themselves, destroying their children and the relationships with a family who genuinely loved them but who s [...]
For so long we (parts in me) relied on attack thought inner conflict to try and communicate the fear that is going on inside and the intensity that grows out of this, is what painted our days, our interactions with others. Moving from that space where chaos and war and destruction happen into a safer [...]
A Sunday afternoon calling my parents.My dad s right there on the front row, starving, getting something for himself in my world just like before. Is mom ok? How is she doing? is she here with you? I ask.He rapidly brushes that off. Gives me as little information as possible as if he wasn’t getting [...]
The truth is….. Are you truly ready to do what it takes to stop using or are you still messing around and playing games. Leading me on just to keep you safe and occupied while you find yourself deprived of what is still valuable to you. The quick fix, the fake high, a dirty bandage [...]
Spinny time …… more spinny times….. Do you remember turning around in your room in London having fun feeling the excitement of swirling like a dervish ….. This tinny video clip on your kid instagram wall I ve been watching over and over again. Makes me smile and reminds me of how full of life [...]
I don’t want to die Your system is still getting use to not use any legal or illegal substances. You are in a phase of transitioning into relying on your mind and body s natural resources. It will feel like a death experience. But that kind of death you need to celebrate. All the pills [...]