Parents who have had no or very little support and care with emotional higiene by their own parents and care givers when growing up, have a strong  tendency to fear and resist their own as well as children’s emotions. I can talk from my own experience as I can clearly see that  before I became a mother, I had some aware of the fact  that I grew up in family and a surrounding where emotions where punished as well as controlled by authority figures who had suppressed and unprocessed emotions still alive within them. Being a good and successful member of a society I am in right now is often measured by how well one does with school and college education then how well one does using their college education into a professional career. A good health member is measured by a healthy sports education and healthy eating. Emotional education is left out and not supported and seen as an important aspect of one’s growth. When I approached the high school my daughter went to and asked them about emotional education I was told that the emotional aspect that a student needs to learn was blended and included in their interactions with their peers and adults in school. Emotions at school  is taught as a skill to master with one s intuition and ability to guess what is expected of the student. Emotional education starts from birth and is established first with the contact and connection made between a mother and her baby  then with the father, moving on to  a bigger crowd as the newborn grows into a healthy child. The base of stable emotional intelligence solidifies through the relationship it s earlier interaction  and connections starting at home moving into school. What if the connection and emotional interation  isn’t solid Once the  child starts school? Is the child automatically falling into the category of being behind already? An emotionally stable child feels secure to learn and to let go at any anxiety attached to not being at home with their parents and the level of achievement is advanced if compared with a child who feels threaten and feels unsafe away from it’ s environment and parents however unsafe the parents maybe.

Coming back to where I fit into this emotional intelligence dimension, I feel like I need so badly to get out of this victim circle I was born into surrounded by emotional handicapped beings. I am now representing the  consequence of generations of suppressed and disguised emotions, left into this gigantic cooker pressure that is now so full and is about to blow up. How am I ever gonna be able turn the hit down, and open the lid without having an explosion and doing a lot of damage around me?

Anger the one emotion I was severely punished for and asked to suppress. My dad only had to get upset with me to trigger a control response that could and would suddenly stop the anger I felt in me that was about to explode. On the other hand any mistakes I have ever made was corrected by his anger, how confusing.  So I learned that mistakes are corrected by anger and anger is corrected by other ppl anger.