It s time to bring the cats home. The sun is fading away with a slightly cold breeze, the fire we lite up was turning into a night camp fire. The colored garden lights glowing star patterns on the grass made our evening look like a fairytale. Appart from Lenny who is happily hanguing out with us the other 4 cats are inside I thought to myself quietly and at peace with that idea. As I walk into the house to bring something back out I notice the back door wide open. I also realize Amazon used the back door to escape out and most likely pursued her new obsessive fun she had that evening of running after baby bunnies. Walking out, back into the garden I call out for Amazon but the nocturnal fun that appears like a cat paradise for her, has already captured my sweet calico princess away. She disappeared, this was the first night Amazon had made up her mind to not return home to her habitual evening routine of jumping on my bed waiting for me to play with her and settling in with me for a goodnight sleep. I missed her. I worried about her, the thought of her out in the wild made me question for a few seconds about her safety then I released her to life so I didn’t have to let an invasive anxiety take over my mind, my bed, my sleep there was nothing more I could have done.

At 2.30 am Tispoon wakes me up demanding to let her out with this insistent  bird sound likes she makes to let me know she really wants something, as well as a stretch on the wall that makes her nails scrape it just above my head screaming at me get up and let me out will you.

To avoid a war and more waking up I use this opportunity to still feel very sleepy and run to the door with 4 cats following me to the door. Out and fast they run into the garden I glance around looking out for Amazon but sadly she was not ready to come back home it seemed.

I returned to sleep and woke up at about 6 am prepared the cat breakfast and had them all back in to eat appart from Amazon. Surprised I called out for her but nothing. After my breakfast I returned to the garden with the cats walked around the house and what do I see laying down on a high up window flower pot Amazon. Motionless looking sleepy and unwell I run to her calling out her name. Amazon are you ok? I asked just before noticing that the poor cat was in pain. At first I looked at her to see if I saw blood but I didn’t so I picked her up to take her home safely. As I reached out from under her I felt some unusual and strong hit coming from underneath her. I quickly looked for any sign of injuries but there was none visible appart from her white fur being blacken and she looked like she needed a wash. As I entered into the house Amazon was fighting to jump out of my arms. I brought her to floor level knowing already that she had to be handled with extra care to avoid more injuries. On the floor Amazon Crawled away from me away from the front door towards my bedroom I soon realized that her back legs was out of place limping away I feared she would do more damage. I picked her up right away and gently took the next few steps she attempted to make into my bedroom and onto my bed. Amazon fell asleep right away and I could see at this point that all she needed was rest and safety.

part 2.

Looking for someone to blame to slow down the healing process.

while Amazon is asleep I am looking for a solution to help out for this new challenging situation in my hands.

I decide to wake up Bastiaan to share the discomfort and the fear of dealing with the Amazon crises at 7 am. Looking back now I wish I had sat down and taken a deep breath with myself and the discomfort instead of letting it agitate me and keep me in a contagious place of anxiety. I let Bastiaan open his eyes and realize where he was and what I was unusually doing in front of him and after putting my hand gently on his shoulder to not alarm him too fast, I quietly say Amazon was ran over by a car, she is alive but her back leg seems injured. Bastiaan reacted worried to my words and got  out of bed pretty fast and right away picks up the burden of the situation that was slightly too heavy for my shoulders only. I am sorry that I have to wake him up this way. Our day seemed already packed up with responsibilities and Amazon s injury became an emergency and  added a new dimension to it all.

Bastiaan had his car appointment in Madison I was driving Kiki to the dentist for an emergency appointment for her Jaw.

Having his breakfast I saw Bastiaan energy becoming dense and dark I automatically picked up on his thoughts and said to him. We need to keep our focus on helping Amazon heal and get better instead of looking for someone to blame for how she is right now. I continued saying please don’t chat away in your head about how bad the neighbors are and how angry you need to be at him for something he may or may not have done which was to carry out his promises to hurt our cats if they showed up around his place.

Bastiaan’s posture and mind lined up pretty fast with what I was just saying and offering, I was relieved by the sudden change and understanding which appeared in the look in his eyes that were slowly softening. I chose to remain at peace around Amazon who needed to feel safe around us. We were moving from a place of panick and reaction to one where the solution was more at reach and visible. Amazon had to be my angel who brought me to a gentler and safer path for healing to occur. No drama, no arguing, no head butting, no revenge taken out on anyone, no one to blame, no anger spilling out, could help our little angel heal. Simply and only a loving presence and quiet mind focused on healing prayers and listening to how we can possibly move forwards to help this healing process