I started my intermittent fasting a few weeks ago and the goal was to reboost my digestive dynamic and system which seemed locked into using food as an addictive habit instead of what it is really designed to do. I also had extra weight around my waist that was affecting my knees my hips and my tailbone. I felt obliged to Bing on something sweet to keep my energy and my comfort level to where I would feel ok with myself but it seemed very unhealthy even though it has been a thing in commun my husband and I liked sharing.

The fasting and the sugar cut down is forcing my body to undergo a body and mind speedy transformation. A renewal is happening in me and that is an opportunity to not replay old unhealthy programs. Like the conflict exchange I had with my husband yesterday. I feel I have given myself the opportunity to become a blank page so why rewrite old habits and painful dynamics on this beautiful pure and virgin page???
I am only conscious of this today. Of course my mind is clearer than it was the day before when I was tapping into Kiki s field where confusion seems to formulate a cloud of darkness that cuts off communication and creative communication. Fear becomes a state and I enter in that state and that ripples out there and be felt as any form fear may appear to be for anyone in that moment. Drama he called it this way. But drama covers fear. I had expected my husband to be more of a support to me who was attempting to walk through that state of fear. And no he went right in it with me. Unloving and unsupportive that is what I was getting back as I was slowly moving myself out of that fearful field that I stepped in the evening before with Kiki.
Why and when exactly did agree to enter in the field of fear with Kiki? To rescue her out of it? And why did this have to interfere in my relationship with Bas?