.. If you could wisper, to the little child you were once, today with all that you know what would you tell her? And this is what I wrote
Dear little me I promiss you that one day you will not be standing next to your dad terrified of his sudden unexplainable outburst of rage. You will not have to walk on egg shell around him anymore. He will not be able to hurt you anymore. All his guilt and shame and burden you carried to be loved by him and not be abandoned will vanish entirely. It is not going to be easy you will meet many other challenges you will make many mistakes along the way,  you will feel the pain of it all but and you will shed many tears and fights many battles. You will look for a father figure in men you meet when you become a women, who might resemble your dad until one day you get that you no longer need a dad. You will look blindly in different part of the world for a reason that explains your existence. You are going to repeat some of the dysfunctional patterns you have learned realizing later that you can let them go just as easy as you picked them up. You will learn resiliency, you will learn to be yourself fully and no longer shy away from asking for what you need. You are going to be free from your mistakes and others as you learn that the best lessons learned are in the mistakes you make. You will feel loved and you will move through all obstacles that today makes you think that you are no one, that you have absolutly no value, that you are nothing and no one loves and wants to have anything to with you or help you in any ways. This sense of being afraid, weak and disgusting or unlovable, that you were brain washed into as a kid in your toxic environment  will absolutely disappear. You won’t have to feel faint because ppl will no longer smoke around you. You will learn to feel full when you are empty, you will learn to move beyond this state of helplessness that takes you to your bottom and you will feel a love that is unexplainable.💝 You are so loved you are so incredibly smart and beautiful you are so supported in a way you can not imaging. I know it is hard to believe that this is true and trust is almost impossible where you are at right now… But I am your future self and as I can talk to you today I say to you little Cécile please trust in me we are going to make it. We are going up and you will see yourself through a different lense on day I promiss you are going to feel so free..