How do I support my daughter in moving towards an independent and safe space withing her when she is so disconnect within and in absolut deny of it. I am sure a lot of parents who have young adult struggling with addictons and mental health must be asking themselves this question and preferably look for opportunities that will provide them with some miraculous answers. Is there any miraculous answers that will give parents some reassurance? Right this moment the answer to this question is a certain no. It is a journey, not a quick fixe. I am aware that what ever parts in that gets triggered around my daughter’s struggle for safety and independence did not just show up when she showed up. These triggered parts were isolated and neglected in need of my attention for healing. When my daughter shows up with her triggered parts, these, are activating my triggered parts. I am aware that my healing and hers around the similar struggle we have are having are the same.

I have been observing my inner world through this IFS map that Ruth Colver created. This morning I looked at where my daughter was located on that map. From my understanding a harmonious flow from bottom to top must happen and at present in my daughter I don’t see a flow at all I see a frozen state at the top of the red zone that operates on I can’t and I hurt moving slightly down to the yellow zone to I must where parts are running the show so constantly that no life and energy from Self is able to flow and work together with parts.