Talking to my dad, clarity sits in my mind. Some of the ideas he mentions sum up the condition he has learned and passed on to me that I faithfully passed on to my daughter. The external reality has the power to move us in what ever direction the external reality moves. It’s calm and happy state will take us into a calm and happy place in our mind. That’s why we can only be around and love happy and calm ppl. Then It’s toxic and hurtful state will intoxicate, damage and traumatize us. That is why we reject avoid and push away ppl when they are at there darker point in their lives. Now, what ever happened to the inner existence, the life source that is connected to the power of it all that is stable calm patient creative curious courageous compassionate. How did we remove ourselves so far from it that we are so disconnected with it. The outer dominant parts in me who see life and strength and love externally is 3 meter appart from who I truly am. It has also tried so hard to control the external world to protect the internal and invisible world to me that is connected to God and in reality needs not it s protection but God’s.