Beyond the accumulation of lacking and isolations, there were these precious seconds that my 2 and 4 or 6 or 8 and even 10 years old little girl devoured.
Noticing something as simple and as powerful, and regenerating as the energy in the light from the sun.
it shared with me a strength and a beauty I recognized, as it invited itself into our home.
I never cared about the dust and the dirt on the windows the light brought forward. I had witness enough ugliness the previous hours. All that interested me was what the radiance it gave and instead of the imperfection it could reveal.
It s light brings the best in all colors and its heat melt the ice that formed around my heart when abandonment and neglect had a lot of space in my childhood.
It even sang sweet and piercing tunes through birds and gave me the courage to get off the hard and cold floor and rise. It showed me the abundance of sweetness inside to warm up and dance and swirl and forget the parts of her body and mind that were hurting from fresh cuts and bruise.
It lights up the stage for me alone to stretch, and wildly shake away the density of the burdens I carried, only then I remembered that even inside a wounded and a broken hearted little girl there is a joy and path that offers so much more than what she had seen so far. There is hope. Hope and the sun I heard my five years old say walk hands in hand as friends.
A hope that brought my focus on an inner joy and strength that could be hushed and deemed down by external influences but never turn itself off permanently.
The sun this mystery that turned grey into flamboyant colors and clouded waters into a blue ocean my little girl had no idea what it was apart from what she received from it and that everything. Everything because it reminded me to shine the energy of my light.
A small gift yet so Nourishing, received by every cells in my body that left an eternal loving impression that would instantly free my soul into a heavenly state.
This out of the blue moments, spontaneously moving all of me inside. The sun and all that the sun gives was food to a starving child ready to not leave the tiniest crumb behind, made me discover the beauty of gratitude. Food that transformed me and gave me a smile that I was able to use around me when generosity showed it s face. Transformed something inside that was making room for my essence to reveal itself, never to be forgotten again. The adult world and its system in place to survive reminded me of the broken pieces I had left behind while accumulating lack and isolation. I forgot about the sun and it’s gift for years.
Today it is an internal sun that comes up and warms up my soul. When I sit still long enough to transform the discomfort of limitations and the pain it brings I notice fast changes
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