I am a slave of my shadow’s moods and impulses.

Seeing this tells me how weak I am to what I have made powerful.

One with it s dark pattern, manipulated by it.

It is happy and so am I, it is furious and I am lost in it’s confusing chaos.

It bargains it threatens, it sneaks in through my still open wounds until it gets exactly what it wants from me.

I feed it for our happiness and safety.

Satisfied.

It quiets down.

So do I.

When I starve it to give it less power it quietly and slowly works it way behind my back and sits and pretend it is no longer there.

I think…. It is gone. I am free.

When I least expect it, it has me down on my knees begging for forgiveness

It appears in my rage and anxiety, I bargain for it to quit. It asks for food I give in, just so I smile and feel a release from the tension I notice from his hand on my throat.