The inner critic in IFS
My inner critic controls a lot of how I feel about myself.
and how I feel inside my body.
It is like a heavy blanket on me that slows me down.
It slows me down in my ability to be creative.
It speeds me up in my thinking and gets me hipper and restless.
It s energy is a source of stress I have gotten use to. A stress that makes me get things done. It supports me getting do my house chores, keeps things in order and organized so the inner chaos doesn’t get out of control so much and it is not noticeable to others around me.
The funny part is when I use the noisy leaf blower or the vacuum clearner. The inner critic doesn’t let her voice to deem it wants to be heard and it gets louder.
When I am not conscious of my inner critic it exhausts me pretty fast.
It also protects me from experiencing more trauma chaos and instability.
The resister the perfectionist are conflicted the rage gets vicious destroys
It controls a lot of my behavior and thinking it is brutal at times.
The under miner part an ally to my inner critic brings doubts insecurity
The guilt tripper anxiety and stress.
It is ok to lower the bar it s ok to have a c minus day.
When I catch up with it it gives me more space and at times an other part thinks life is boring without the distraction of the inner critic. The second when I catch up with the other parts around the critics like the needy and the shame parts I have more room inside. I have more room to do what I love doing in my life.
I feel a lot of peace. I can breath better.
I love being alive
One of the function my inner critic has is taking on others’s guilt and criticisms and make other part believe they belong to us. A lot of my suffering is generated by how hard and how hipper vigilant my inner critic gets at times. The shaming that goes on while it does what it knows best creates a lot of pain.
Pain that tells me a lot.
It tells me it wants me to be safe and it working super at getting the job done.
Yes my critic shames parts in me a lot of the time. The pain and the tension produced while shaming is felt in my head in shoulders too and it shortens my breath.
It shames me for what I said or for I didn’t say. It makes attempts at keeping me small and quiet. Don’t do that…..don’t say that….and it is blank at times. It shows up and in a very diplomatic way it exercises what it does internal externally with ppl I am close too.
Noticing the critic….
When I catch up with it it gives me more space to let it know I Self the adult is here and at time just the connection with it, just letting it know where I am in the present time, compassionate, this suffices to release the tension and relax. Then allows an other part to steps in and thinks life is boring without the distraction from the inner critic or an another thinks life is threatening without the hipper vigilance of the critic. Once I m aware and able to catch up with all the other parts who either support and protects the critic or hates the critics and wants it crushed, the attention given helps a lot.
I then feel a tremendous shift I become fluid and fresh and light I suddenly have more room to do what I love doing in my life.
I feel at peace inside and I no longer seek for peace in others around me I can breath better I love being here, nothing can push me out of the way nothing externally can affects me.
So what happens when I find myself triggered and hurting once again. What is taking me away from this precious and safe space within?
The old mechanism automatically kicks in I don’t usually notice it right away it seems like it quietly sneaks in, back into my system and convinces me that what triggers my internal reaction is caused by something happening externally so my old pattern gets to work and fix an unsolvable, what becomes frustrating, problem.
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