About cecileb

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So far cecileb has created 109 blog entries.

Addiction Mental health and unsupervised Med

By |2023-03-08T12:43:24+00:00March 8th, 2023|Addiction, Border Line Personality Disorder (BPD), Mental health, Non-Violent Communication (NVC), Parts Work, Trauma|

A week ago when Kiki walked out of sober leaving because the meds she was prescribed were giving her side effects she couldnt handle, when she urgently decided to unconsciously sleep walk herself back into the life style that destroyed her these last young years of her life. I once again experienced terror, I went [...]

Some connections between trauma and addiction

By |2023-02-28T14:04:20+00:00February 28th, 2023|addiction and mental health parents, Being a mother of a young adult who struggles with borderline and substance abuse, Mental health, Non-Violent Communication (NVC)|

One of the main reason I never wanted to use drugs and get lost in alcoholism to support the amount of suffering my childhood trauma has left me with when I walked away from an abusive home at age 15 is the hurt that I witnessed that my closed ones went through when a member [...]

Child abuse is everywhere and kept hidden

By |2023-03-08T12:40:47+00:00February 7th, 2023|Uncategorized|

I experienced childhood as a torture in isolation, being a object to parents who would use me to take revenge on all that they hated most in their lives. Witnessing the most important ppl in my life destroying themselves, destroying their children and the relationships with a family who genuinely loved them but who s [...]

In Self

By |2022-10-29T10:06:33+00:00October 29th, 2022|Uncategorized|

I am the piece missing that I long for, the love that I locate then search in everyone around me. The rest the stillness the quiet that speaks of wisdom and of peace that I am too. The friendship, the attention, the adoration, that I crave for or that I think others have and I [...]

True to myself or not?

By |2022-10-28T12:55:48+00:00October 28th, 2022|Uncategorized|

For so long we (parts in me) relied on attack thought inner conflict to try and communicate the fear that is going on inside and the intensity that grows out of this, is what painted our days, our interactions with others. Moving from that space where chaos and war and destruction happen into a safer [...]

More trauma responses

By |2022-10-04T14:02:07+00:00October 4th, 2022|Uncategorized|

A Sunday afternoon calling my parents.My dad s right there on the front row, starving, getting something for himself in my world just like before. Is mom ok? How is she doing? is she here with you? I ask.He rapidly brushes that off. Gives me as little information as possible as if he wasn’t getting [...]

Warm

By |2022-10-04T12:30:26+00:00September 30th, 2022|Uncategorized|

I wish with every cells in my body with all my heart that I could have available for you the warm inside of me that you need. That warmth you so desperately cling onto and demand of me is protected by an army of soldiers afraid that you will use it to hurt yourself and [...]

Parts work in actions for my anxiety

By |2022-09-29T12:18:32+00:00September 25th, 2022|Uncategorized|

Spinny time …… more spinny times….. Do you remember turning around in your room in London having fun feeling the excitement of swirling like a dervish ….. This tinny video clip on your kid instagram wall I ve been watching over and over again. Makes me smile and reminds me of how full of life [...]

In jail 20 days sober.

By |2022-09-25T13:42:06+00:00September 25th, 2022|Uncategorized|

I don’t want to die Your system is still getting use to not use any legal or illegal substances.  You are in a phase of transitioning into relying on your mind and body s natural resources. It will feel like a death experience. But that kind of death you need to celebrate. All the pills [...]

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