About cecileb

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So far cecileb has created 109 blog entries.

A poem about my inner critic

By |2022-09-25T22:04:56+00:00September 24th, 2022|Uncategorized|

The inner critic in IFS My inner critic controls a lot of how I feel about myself. and how I feel inside my body. It is like a heavy blanket on me that slows me down. It slows me down in my ability to be creative. It speeds me up in my thinking and gets [...]

In jail

By |2022-09-21T20:11:58+00:00September 21st, 2022|Uncategorized|

I m getting out today, my friend s giving me the money to bail me out. No……. Absolutely not….. stay inside a little longer until we have you in rehab, please use this moment inside to strengthen the part in you who does not want the drug and to weaken the other part of you [...]

A slave to my darkness.

By |2022-09-21T16:40:02+00:00September 20th, 2022|Uncategorized|

I am a slave of my shadow’s moods and impulses. Seeing this tells me how weak I am to what I have made powerful. One with it s dark pattern, manipulated by it. It is happy and so am I, it is furious and I am lost in it’s confusing chaos. It bargains it threatens, [...]

A parent child dynamic.

By |2022-09-17T13:00:25+00:00September 17th, 2022|Uncategorized|

My system is noticing the changes from the old and tired ready to give up, to something else, something very new, yet quite familiar to my soul. This game of external power I exercised with my surrounding for a while is slowly being disactivated. You think you can still give me the responsibility of your [...]

Inside

By |2022-09-17T11:03:18+00:00September 17th, 2022|Uncategorized|

Bored. It is so boring here. Me and myself how boring…. First night sleep on day 8 Stress….. wild fight happened yesterday. The worst jail in the county to be in. I have hardly no access to the outside. No tablets like they have in Baraboo. What ever happened to privileged me. I was born [...]

In jail

By |2022-09-15T21:34:04+00:00September 15th, 2022|Uncategorized|

My darling daughter. I feel you. I don’t want too, but I do. I feel you. It feels good. Safe to know where you are today. Tomorrow and the day after. You are alive. Away from the shadow of the corner of the streets where awaits your predators, where death moves so close to you [...]

Waking up

By |2022-09-10T23:12:12+00:00September 10th, 2022|Uncategorized|

We are each other s mirror We take each other to the place within where compassion needs to occur where the left over wounds cries for a healing attention. Shame, those invisible nails in my body I notice around others I want to remove. Good morning lost and scattered parts the needy one who are [...]

Dad

By |2022-09-08T03:12:36+00:00September 7th, 2022|Uncategorized|

With you I hurt myself. I don’t like who I am around you. I don’t like who you are around me. I can’t really tell you these words. The fear of you getting hurt by my truth and the terror of what you do with your pain stands like a soundproof wall making sure you [...]

I spoke up

By |2022-09-06T17:13:35+00:00September 6th, 2022|Uncategorized|

I no longer want to be this refreshing fruit you eat while you cross through the night of a deserted and scary place in your mind. Therefore I speak up and refuse to all your made up ideas about me to comfort yourself with. I am not a friend. I am not an ally. I [...]

Relationships surviving on toxicity.

By |2022-09-04T23:04:00+00:00September 4th, 2022|Uncategorized|

My dad said … your mom and I have been married 50 years. Don’t you think if our relationship was like everyone calls it a bad relationship it would have lasted so long? To that I say I heard of people being kept in prison for 50 and more years for a crime they committed. [...]

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