For some parts in me not much seem to have changed since I was 4 or 8 years old. I don’t open my mouth without thinking that what I am saying is wrong and will get me into trouble. I don’t make one step forward or backwards without thinking I should shrink or defy this [...]
The last time I saw you, at the lake Delton parking lot. Picking up your bags of clothes from B’ s car, saying goodbye for ever because this whole situation is…..hopeless. Kirk, probably high, telling me that now is the time you really need me in your life, that he was taking care of you [...]
Still editing Once you are sobber and you have support for your mental illness you can call me and talk to me before that you are on own destroying yourself I want no part in it that s what I mean by not being your mother anymore. As long as you are the way you [...]
Day one of not using. I picked you up from Merrissa on Sunday drove us to the river and that was the last sort of precious moment I would have with you. As if this had been a set up to say our good goodbyes because if from this point on you do not save [...]
I am happy tonight to allow myself fully feel this hard intense feelings of being completly alone of being isolated and having no one tonight around me to check on me or to share with and hang out with have fun. (expect our beautiful cats of course). So much sadness is coming up in this [...]
I use to think that emotions were my enemies I categorized them as bad. So I disconnected with my enemies. I continuously avoided feeling them and I denied what I needed most. Connection and Peace and also room for creative energy. My emotions continued screaming for my attention leaving no space for me to live [...]
When Kimia was 6 years old she would come home from school after spending the whole day bathing with everyone around her in the english language, it became more and more natural for her to continue on talking to me in English and not in french like we normally would at home. Slowly it became [...]
Why am I still blended with my parts after over a year of working with an IFS therapist? Here is a question that I am seeing quite a lot. It sounds like the expectation to be in control of an internal system, that was taught to be out of control during early formative years, [...]
My daughter admitted herself to Roger memorial hospital in Milwaukee for detox yesterday. Prayers for kiki to find this spark of clarity within her to constantly make the choice of remaining free of any kind interference so she can get on with creating her own path of setting herself free. Last week I did a [...]
Yesterday we attended our first virtual funeral. My husband's grand mother from Holland past away last week at the age of 103. I was nicely surprise on how well organised this virtual event took place. My husband and I located in the States could be part of the celebration of Oma's life. We lit a [...]