Awakening

By |2020-07-06T19:56:59+00:00May 28th, 2020|Uncategorized|

After a long fase of day dreaming into a bubble of formulated ideas that I unconsciously create to sooth an appetite for comfort and safty, I slightly open my eyes and realize that what seems real to me, what seem to be so important, so valuable, so safe, and so comforting, so yummy is actually [...]

The fear based program, part 1 Amazon.

By |2020-07-06T19:56:59+00:00April 28th, 2020|Uncategorized|

It s time to bring the cats home. The sun is fading away with a slightly cold breeze, the fire we lite up was turning into a night camp fire. The colored garden lights glowing star patterns on the grass made our evening look like a fairytale. Appart from Lenny who is happily hanguing out [...]

Reconnecting with my birth parents

By |2020-07-06T19:56:59+00:00April 23rd, 2020|Uncategorized|

I texted Brigitte my aunt last week and I told her that I was dreaming about my mother these days. Her response to my text was "you need to reconnect with your mother". I had not heard or seen my mother for about 18 years and lately right before my grand mother's passing I find [...]

The 2020 corona episode

By |2020-07-06T19:56:59+00:00April 14th, 2020|Uncategorized|

I find it really challenging to sit down and write at a moment of a crises or when a big event in my life shows up like what is currently going on with the corona episode.... It seems like I have an urge to live in the moment of an ongoing crises and as it [...]

By |2020-07-06T19:56:59+00:00March 26th, 2020|Uncategorized|

There is warm golden comfort in my life, a blooming privilege that I treasure like the pleasure I extract from a love song I hear and adore that I can play over and over again but then I confuse with what I really desire. What do I truly desire? This question is whispered like soft [...]

An enemy.

By |2020-07-06T19:56:59+00:00March 20th, 2020|Uncategorized|

From one seconde to the next the one person you called your best friend, the love of your life, your child, your parent, your mother, your teacher, can burst out and reveal a hidden facade of themselves. Unknown to you, your former best friend's demons comes out of the closet, and as you have opened [...]

Child abuse.

By |2020-07-06T19:56:59+00:00March 10th, 2020|Uncategorized|

After watching the trial of Gabriel on Netflix I am sitting on my coach tears are rolling down, anger is being felt in my gut and I am hearing myself saying how can I make a difference for children to be protected and not having to ever go through tortures from their own parent. How [...]

Seule

By |2020-07-06T19:56:59+00:00February 27th, 2020|Uncategorized|

Ce mistère dans ma vie qui jusqu'a présent a été le plus loyal s'ecrit pleinement en quatre lettres, vide. Vide et solitude m'ont bercé á un si tendre age, et m'ont vu faire mes premiers pats et les ont suivit tout le long de ma vie.  Je me dis parfois pourquoi devrais je me sentir [...]

I know you as if I had made you….

By |2020-07-06T19:56:59+00:00February 11th, 2020|Uncategorized|

Je te connais comme si je t'avais faite. I know you as if I had made you. These exact full of arrogance and heavy words delivered from my dad's pride and  self centeredness, through his mouth to my ears, the effect they had on me, had to be a reaction that communicated quietly to my [...]

Is there such thing as controlled rage?

By |2020-07-06T19:56:59+00:00February 4th, 2020|Uncategorized|

Parents who have had no or very little support and care with emotional higiene by their own parents and care givers when growing up, have a strong  tendency to fear and resist their own as well as children's emotions. I can talk from my own experience as I can clearly see that  before I became [...]

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